Making Men Stronger

 Hey guys! I hope you all are keeping well. 

So, I am back with my blog and I feel like I am writing after eons now!! Seriously, my last blog was published in January, can you imagine?

Well, I won't lie to you guys but there was a big fog in my brain, I did not felt like writing anything or reading for that matter. 

But here I am with yet another blog!

So, being a girl I was always taught, from the very beginning, that all men are predators. They will ill-treat you and try to take advantage of you. Today when I ponder about it, it makes me disheartened. Why because I feel this is a very wrong way of conditioning a child. I know there are men who do all the wrong but not all men are same. Are they? Do you or do you not think that your brother or father may do anything wrong to you? Do you or do you not feel safe and sound with them? Conditioning a child with a wrong approach is wrong but making them aware of how to keep themselves safe from others isn't. 

The problem here is OUR DEAREST SOCIETY.  

Conditioning a child in a proper manner is very essential, be it a boy or a girl. Remember, they are the future and we do not want our future to be like the ones who pass sh*ty comments on girls wearing ripped jeans. Or someone teaching Aikido to a set of girls ONLY. Safety is a term for all NOT ONLY to women.

Ek taraf hum bolte toh hai ki lardhka lardhki ek hai magar wahi hum apne lardhke ke rone pr usse lardhki bolte h aur ek lardhki ko khud apne pairo pr khada dekh apna beta bolte h. If these aren't double standards then what are they? 

I want you to go back to the time and relive that moment, that one moment, where you have had encountered such an incident when you wanted to cry but couldn't because were told not to, because you were told that this is an act of delicacy and should be enacted only by girls/women. I can feel how hard it might have been for you. But you know what? You do not have to listen to anybody, these are your emotions and you and only you have the right to control them. So if you wanna cry-cry your eyes out, if you wanna laugh- laugh out louder but if you wanna remain silent and bear all this THEN DON'T.  

Boys/Men what a harsh life they have. "Don't cry like a girl, you and only you are the bread-earner of the house, be a gentlemen but a man being too gentle is frowned upon, all men are dogs, be a man"  is everything they grow up listening to. When women talks about feminism they always confuse it with a movement that is just about them. No, Feminism DOES NOT EXCLUDE THE MEN IN OUR SOCIETY. If you call yourself a feminist you must respect the rights of men while speaking up for your's. Remember patriarchy was hard on men too.  In times like today, we need more feminist MEN in our society. So do not differentiate and exaggerate that men and women are different. I know they are, and that's beautiful. But there's one thing that still bothers me...

Ki jab farak krne ko GUNAH hi mante ho toh farak krna SIKAHTE kyu ho?

Growing up I realized that it is so difficult for us women to survive. And it is so easy for men. Always. As they are born with the sense of entitlement. They are always under the spotlight. But until now, I realized how wrong I was. That it wasn't the sense of entitlement but a social pressure since the very beginning. And it's not me, it's not you, but the society who has conditioned our minds in such a way that we can't help but differentiate between Men and Women. 

TO EVERYONE READING THIS HEAR ME OUT, 

Women does not have monopoly over tears, men too can express themselves because crying is normal and crying DOES NOT MEAN, being weak. Stop blaming the entire gender for all the wrong. Not every man standing next to you is there to lie, cheat, betray or harass you. Do not blame them because of that one bast**d who could not stop forcing himself on that girl. You taught them to BE A MAN. But what kind? Nobody talks about that!? Be a man, who is honest, faithful, and trustworthy. Don't listen to the ones who said the same but couldn't stop staring on a girl's blouse, who is possessive yet becomes violent upon their partner. Rather, be a man who stands up first for everything wrong he witnesses, who is possessive and understanding, who trusts  his partner and makes her aware that her safety is in her hands and that she should know how to fight her fears and stand up for herself and her rights. Do not set an example to differentiate all the genders, do not make things so difficult for a boy who finds himself so awkward around the opposite sex, who is struggling, struggling hard to be a teenager at the first place! "Masculinity is a word, humanity is another, so are love, care and compassion. So maybe, if you dear society, get over to what the first one means to you; you'll see what the next few means to the rest of us." And when you say "Men will be Men" you shouldn't negate this phrase. Rather stand by it because a man should be a man when he witnesses someone staring at a girl's blouse or touch her inappropriately, a man should be a man when his daughter or sister brings a boy home, a man should be a man when he sees his drunk father raising his hand, a man should be a man when he cries his eyes out. A man should be a man because HE TOO IS A HUMAN. If you think of him as a predator, remember he was victimized first. Victimized of patriarchy, feminism and before all this he was victimized since the day he was born. 

Learn to unlearn this disrupting conditioning and apathy,

Instead it's time to learn kindness and empathy, 

Because it's not me , it's not you;

Rather its us against them, 

Against the so called SOCIETY!!

Make men stronger,

They are no monster.

Understand that they too have feelings, 

And it's the fault of only our teachings.

Make men stronger,

Now more than ever!

I hope I was able to send the message I wanted to spread. Tell me what you think about it in the comment section below.Will write to you soon. Till then stay home, stay safe. These are hard times, lets spread more of love all over and make this world a better place to breathe in. 

This is Shreya Aggarwal signing off!!